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I’ve been keeping a close eye on the Ashes, as I do, and I’ve gradually come round to this Australia team. I find they interview well, they play well and they’re generally not that dislikable. Following on from Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke and his boys are a breath of fresh air. I’ve even, in pantomime fashion, grown rather fond of David Warner who clearly thinks the world of himself (and occasionally with good reason) but has that terrible problem that so many do of acting before engaging his brain.

Twitter doesn’t take kindly to people who go round punching Joe Root in the face, or belittling Jonathan Trott’s mental condition, and that is reflected in the very beginning of a graph below. Basically, a month by month reflection of the way David Warner is reflected on Twitter.

WarnerThis is based on that high-tech algorithm of doing a Twitter search for the words “David Warner XXXX” and then ensuring that I discount things that aren’t relevant.

Personal favourite so far is “David Warner is a cock tonsil”; that got into the cock category.

When I started this conversation, it was with the word ‘bell-end’, so I will be adding more descriptions of the moustachioed bat-swinger as time goes on but for now… any suggestions?

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