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I was invited to a party at my Uncle Monty’s house the other week, but was reluctant to attend because I’m not really a dancer. Eventually I was cajoled into going along and spent most of the evening partaking in gin and tonic at the free bar while many of the other guests samba-ed, waltzed and merenguéd around the floor.

After a few hours, I was steeling myself for departure when my uncle’s girlfriend came across to speak to me, immediately insisting I should join her on the dancefloor.

I didn’t, and she moseyed off to dance with someone else.

Before long, she came back across.

“Come on! Come on!” she implored. “Just one dance! Come and do the Uruguayan Tango with me!”

“The Uruguayan Tango?!?” I replied with some disbelief. “What the hell is that?”

“Its just like the Argentinian tango,” came her response, “except Monty videos it.”

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