“Its a long way, Edinburgh, and deciding to use as many service stations as possible was probably not the wisest of ideas.” 18-07-2004

“I ought to mention that all night, green men had been going for us, and we’d barely stopped for traffic at all. This continued on the way back, and I hailed it as a sign of my greatness.” 18-07-2004

“THE most wonderful guy working behind the counter there. Firstly, his cashback question (answered – “Yeah, actually, can I have £20 please. In case I get caught in a pub”); he LOVED that. He agreed it’d be terrible to be caught in a pub without any money, and handed it over. Even more than that, he loved the pink £10 note I have in my wallet – I can’t spend it because its SO COOL. He was shocked… “But aren’t you gutted that you can’t spend it because its SO COOL?!” “Not really…I like it” “Is it real? ” “Yeah…have a look” (Hands him tenner) (He holds it up to light) “It is yeah…” – 19-07-2004

“I remember being very excited by the Peruvian Soccer logo and a picture of a cherry on a pump, and having half a pint of that, and then rushing off to the gents. I remember the gents itself, and a guy in there telling me – geniusly “If you can see the mountains, its going to rain. If you can’t, its raining”. – 19-07-2004

“I snapped at the TV today. It was doing something shit, like showing ITV…or Channel 5 or something…I just yelled “What the fuck is this crap…GET RID”” – 30-04-2004

The first four come from a trip to Edinburgh.